The Snow White Ensemble



I had a consultation with the Doc

who said ' My friend you're dead it's such a shame '

I sat there in a state of utter shock

while looking round for someone I could blame.

I heard a siren screaming just outside

but found to my chagrin I couldn't move,

how could it be that I had simply died

I'm sure that God above would disapprove.

They put me in a box and nailed it down

I tried to scream but couldn't make a sound,

beneath the the earth no one could see me frown

and listened to the maggots all around.

They ate me rather slowly now I'm gone

it really was a gross phenomenon.




I'm bashful when it comes to meeting girls

I stutter then I quickly run away,

the sight of big blue eyes and long blonde curls

can leave my mind in total disarray.

I know I'll never marry which is sad

as shyness is the bane of modern life,

this loneliness I feel is really bad

I'll never say, my friends, this is my wife.

But how can I dismiss the way I feel

it fills me with a dreadful honesty;

to who or what or where can I appeal

no court can free me from this modesty.

I tread a lonely path upon this earth,

a gift from God? Or accident of birth?




I'm happy in a pensive sort of way

as things are not that bad but not that good,

I seem to slowly stumble through each day

by simply doing what I know I should.

I'm not that rich but thankfully not poor

I do not have a big expensive car

I have no highs or lows, I just endure;

I holiday but do not go that far.

I could consider change but I am scared

I'm av'rage in my total av'regeness,

I don't like things for which I'm unprepared

and change can give me shivers I confess.

I'll bumble on without those highs or lows

this rut is mine for comfort, I suppose.




I do so much cocaine they call me dopey,

I'm higher than a kite most of the day,

I like to take it when I'm feeling ropy

I take an extra snort and float away.

My father was the same, he was addicted

he had a run in with the local police,

in court, I'm sad to say, he was convicted

along with all my uncles and my niece.

I wrote this sonnet as my brain was flying

it turned out as I really, really, want,

I was so high I thought that I was dying

so wrote it in a psychedelic font.

Come ride the horse and ride it while you're tripping

you must admit the end is rather gripping.




On balmy summer days I get quite sneezy

my eyes are red that used to be bright blue,

I wake up in the morning feeling wheezy


They say it's all to do with pollenation

or dust mites, birds or little lumps of mould,

it really is an awful irritation

just like a hyper active mega-cold.

ACHOO!  ACHOO!  It really is frustrating

my nose can run as fast as Usain Bolt

it frightens you and stops you concentrating

you jump just like a rather frisky colt.

It really is a mystery disease

I've never known a bumblebee to sneeze.


I'm grumpy when I write my poetry

the rhyme seems forced, the flow is out of sync,

the themes are full of crass hyperbole

my lack of nouse is driving me to drink.

I tried to write a sonnet on a boat

the captain saw and cried abandon ship

I sipped a scotch and tried to stay afloat

the flask, half empty, hanging from my hip.

I must confess I'm getting even worse

my haiku died, my villanelle dropped dead,

perhaps I have the failing poet's curse

mistakes swirl round inside my empty head.

There's only me to blame I must admit,

just like this sonnet, I am full of s****.



 I'm sleepy so I don't think I can write

I haven't slept in many, many days,

insomia has ruled my every night

my mind is in a swirling purple haze.

I counted sheep but they all ran away

I drank some scotch which sadly didn't work

I took some pills, one yellow and one grey

but all I did was twitch and writhe and jerk.

I need to sleep I really, really do

you see things if you don't, or so it's said,

look there!  I see and scarlet kangaroo

and Nessie in a car of brightest red.

My sonnets are now finished, were you right?

My final clue, just think of sweet Snow White.




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