Just an Ordinary Day  


I was just sitting there, minding my own business, when I glanced out of the window. It was such a lovely day, clear blue sky, the sun quietly blazing away, that I decided to go and sit in the garden. Then I recalled that the sun can cause skin cancer unless you wear sun cream with factor ' whatever it is ', so I stayed inside. 

I decided to have a cup of coffee but remembering  that it can irritate the lining of your stomach and cause sterility problems I didn't.I thought about having a cup of tea instead.Did you know that tea is a diuretic, it contains caffeine and dehydrates you ?  well I do, so I changed my mind. 

I filled a glass with water but a little voice said " did you know that the water in many cities contains pollutents called carcinogens that over time can cause cancer " so I poured it away. 

I turned on the TV., staring at me was the face of a recently caught mass murderer so I changed channels. I was told that the earthquake death toll in Thingumistan  had reached 5000 , I turned the TV off.


I decided to have lunch, but being diabetic, I made sure the blood sugar levels in the food were acceptable  but then noticed  that the salt content was far too high. Salt causes high blood pressure or hypertension which leads to kidney damage, strokes or even heart attacks. I decided on a diet without thinking about the consequences.


I was going to pour a whiskey but the memory of the rotting kidney I'd seen on TV the night before stopped me. I briefly thought about having a relaxing cigarette, but only for a millisecond.


I looked out of the window, it was still a beautiful day..I made a decision..


I shot myself......



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